First Week Back

I've been home for a week now, since Mitch has been gone. I came home on Monday to find that I had left the house in complete distress. That made things fun. I spent the first couple days just cleaning, and embarrassed that I had our friend Matt house-sit this disaster zone. Although, I have found now that without Mitch I am much more of a slob than I am when he's around. That also might be due to being sick. I think I caught whatever was being hacked up by half of the passengers on the airplane. Lucky me.

It was hard the first couple nights. Actually, the very first night home, it was so windy that our deck was creaking and Tesla was hiding under the covers. I didn't sleep much, but that was the only really horrible night. Other than that I've been dealing just fine.

Not only have I been sad about Mitch not being here, but I've been mourning the loss of my puppy MJ. Last Friday, while I was in Salt Lake, I got a call from my mom telling me how bad things had gotten for him. I had to make the absolute hardest decision I have ever had to make in my entire life. I had to let go of my baby. He was old and so sick and really, he hasn't been himself and in the last year he has just deteriorated. It was at the point where he couldn't pick himself up from his bed and couldn't hold food down. It broke my heart, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

At first, I was upset that I couldn't be there. About a year ago, when he first got really sick, I told my mom that no matter what, I HAVE to be there. I did not want him to go thinking that I had abandoned him. And there I was, stuck in a different state, and it was the one day that I absolutely couldn't be there, no matter what I did. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that MJ and I had already said our goodbyes. The week before, when I was in Wenatchee, he and I were inseperable. And I laughed about it at the time, because it was so unsual and uncharacteristic of him, but everytime we sat together, he would sit ON my lap. This was something he NEVER did. He was a dog who liked his space. But that entire week, we cuddled. We cuddled so much, to make up for the time we missed, and I think somehow he knew this would be our last chance.

It's taken me over a week to be able to write these words down. I think I've been avoiding knowing. Just the other day, my mom called me to let me know they delivered his remains, and that next time I come to Wenatchee I'll be able to take him home. It's so hard to let go, but I guess I don't have to. He'll always be with me, just not in the same way. That little dog and I had so many good memories. I don't know how long it will take to get over him, or if I ever will. So for now, I am sad, and I am letting myself be sad. But I am also happy that he is free.

Mormon Town and Me

I'm in Salt Lake City! I came on Saturday to help Mitch set up his apartment here. He actually is staying in a pretty decent place. It's in the center of downtown, which I hear is the one and ONLY place you can live if you are not a Mormon. (By the way, is it any coincidence that when you do spell check on Mormon, you get either that, or moron?) It actually hasn't been bad at all, since we've been here. No crazies (yet) and we're within walking distance to about a million different restaurants. We've been to three of them so far and they have been absolutely amazing. He's also within walking distance to an outdoor mall, which I'm thinking about going to today. Mitch is working, so I'm just hanging out at the apartment, and it looks like the sun is coming out, so I might do some exploring. Who knows, I might even venture up to the temple to see what all the fuss is about . . .

We made invitations to our reception this weekend. They actually look pretty cool. Although, now I'm thinking it might be a good idea to make the "announcements" and send them out at the same time. Especially with Mitch's family, we don't want to ruffle any feathers, (with my family, they could care less, but oh well.) Anyways, we're going to get those out soon. As soon as I get all the addresses I need.

I'm getting used to Salt Lake City. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. There is a slight chance that I might be moving down here with him for a few months. There is another project, that starts right after the one he is working on, and would go until January. So, if he takes that job, Tesla and I would be coming to join him.

That's the other thing, little Tesla! She's at my mom's house for the week and I miss her so much! My little baby! I guess she's doing alright there, but now she is so used to the other animals that I feel like I might need to get a little buddy for her. Perhaps when we move.

Anyways, all in all, Salt Lake City good. Missing Tesla. Wedding reception stuff coming along. What else? OH, and I finally heard back from the publishers so I'll be getting my license in the mail soon!!! YAY! Exciting.

Dresses for the girls

Wedding Ideas

Married Life

Well, it's official . . . I'm a married woman. Weird. Life feels no different. If anything, it's been more stressful, but only because we are getting ready for Mitch to leave on Saturday. UGH it's coming way too fast. And there is so much to do, it's almost difficult to figure out where to begin.

The wedding was beautiful. My mom did an amazing job of putting it together in a matter of days (more like minutes, actually). It was intimate and special and I was surprised with how emotional I ended up being. I started crying in the middle of our vows and could barely spit them out. Mitch kept smiling at me to try to help me through it, but it made me cry even more. It was a perfect evening. That night, Tesla slept between us all night.

The same day, I received news that the play that I had proposed to the student theatre production board has been accepted for their highest level of productions next quarter. It will be the main production for next quarter's STP shows. This is amazing news! I couldn't believe it! Now, I just hope I can get the royalty fees to go through and I will be alright. I am excited for this all to work out. It will give me something to focus all of my attention on while Mitch is gone in Salt Lake City.

Mitch leaves on Saturday at 5:00am. Yikes. That is going to be a hard day, I can already tell. I am planning on having some of my girlfriends over that night to help cheer me up. I'm just nervous about it. I don't know how I will handle it. I am so happy right now, and with our wedding this weekend, I have found a new attachment to Mitch. It will be hard to see him go for so long.

But let's not let me get ahead of myself. I am going to enjoy the time with him that I have now, and deal with things as they come. Tomorrow I have a meeting with Eric and hopefully he can help me clear some things up in my head. I hope.

I am very happy.

Odd Dream

I was thinking about the wedding before I fell asleep last night and had some weird dreams...

First, I had this dream that I was making invitations, and on the invitations I was hand-drawing a map of Canada. Don't ask me why. My wedding is not going to be in Canada. Maybe because it will be north of Bellingham, and I just associate that with Canada? What the hell, I don't know. Then I realized that the invitation I was working on was too big.... about an arm-span length. So I had to start over and draw a smaller version of Canada in order to make more invitations.

Then I left to go to a dance class where we were improvising a performance that we were going to do later. For some reason, I brought my cat. Then the dance instructor told me that she knows my cat has a problem with jumping on counters and other spaces she isn't allowed to be on, and that that is a bad thing and that I need to rectify that situation.

Then I left. Went through a McDonald's drive-thru window to get directions on how to get to I-5 and my cat and I went off into the sunset in 5:00 traffic. Then I woke up.

Bill Maher's RELIGULOUS

The final monologue from the movie Religulous. I wanted to share it.

"The irony of religion is that because of it's power to divert man to destructive courses, the world actually could come to an end.

Plain fact is- religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having key decisions made by religious people. By irrationalists. By those who would steer the ship of state not by a compass but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq, but he didn't learn a lot about it. Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith and enable and elevate it are our intellectual slave holders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction.

Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think that it's wonderful when someone says, "I'm willing lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do." except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas. And anyone who tells you they know, they just know, what happens when you die - I promise you you don't. How could I be so sure? because I don't know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.

The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble. And that's what man needs to be considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong.

This why rational people, anti religionists, must end their timidity and and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

If you belong to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler. a Mafia wife with the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here or wherever, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects, of a religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let's remember what the real problem was: That we learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it.

That's it."